This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Julie Jordan-Wade, a former meeting and event planner, based in Dallas. Her identity and job offer have been verified by Business Insider. This story has been edited for length and clarity.
I hit two years of being on the job hunt for full-time work this August.
I last worked in conference planning for a major trade show company, which is a very specialized niche, but I really enjoyed it. I’ve continued to look at conference planning jobs, but I’ve also looked into communications. I’ve even considered getting certified to teach, since I did that previously.
I’ve had the same frustrations many people are having these days: not being chosen for an interview, getting ghosted, getting an interview and then not being the chosen candidate.
It’s been a blow to my confidence. I feel like it’s ageism because I’m over 50. But the most difficult part has been feeling like an absolute failure because I can’t provide the way I want to for the middle-school child I’m raising. I am just scraping by.
His birthday is coming up, and we can’t figure out what to do because I can hardly afford anything, and there’s little room for anything extra. I’m wondering if I’ll be able to cover light bulbs and car insurance this month.
When I got a job offer in August, I gave it some serious thought. Someone finally saw me as a great fit, and the company had a stellar culture, a multigenerational team, and a long history of no layoffs.
But I usually make a pros and cons list whenever I’m making major life decisions — and it just wasn’t meeting everything I needed.
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Why I turned it down
The duties of this particular job were very repetitive. It was a lot of compliance, renewing compliance certificates, reminding people to renew their compliance certificates, reminding people that their yearly inspection was coming up.
My family was saying, “Just take it. You can always take it and work, and at least earn money, and you can still keep looking.”
But I thought, is this what I want to do for eight hours a day, five days a week, for $15,000 less than what I was making before? I didn’t want to compromise.
I have two college degrees and a certification in meeting and event planning. I shouldn’t have to start all over. I have good skills that are adaptable to so many positions, and I want to use them. I don’t mind doing something different, but I want to find something I enjoy doing.
I was also hoping for a hybrid option since I’m still raising a child, and I want the option to work from home on school breaks or if he’s homesick.
If there was something I was mildly interested in learning, maybe I could do that. If it offered hybrid work, I could probably make do. But it just didn’t have enough of an appeal to me. So I turned it down.
I’m not ready to settle
I’ve leaned heavily into my savings these last two years, even though I’m very frugal. I’ve also found ways to make money while I wait for the right job.
I am on staff at a church doing communications, and I substitute teach, which has helped keep me afloat. I work at the church anywhere from four to eight hours a week. The subbing is very sporadic.
I just got an opportunity as an outreach educator for the Dallas Holocaust & Human Rights Museum. It pays better than subbing and only takes place during school hours. But it’s extremely part-time.
Some people have suggested retiring. I’m not at that point. There are a lot of us who are at this point in our lives where we’re still raising kids. We still have bills to pay. We still need to save for our own retirement. But we’ve also put a lot of years into building a career and have a lot to offer.
To me, an interview is a two-way street. I’m not just trying to impress the employer — I also want to be impressed by them. I ask about their culture, what they offer, and how they function. I want to learn and grow in a job.
By the end of this year, I will probably be more in a position to settle for something that doesn’t quite match what I’m looking for.
I’ve heard from people who have taken jobs out of desperation, and they’ve regretted it in every case. After two years of looking for a job, I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to value my education and experience. Just because an AI system doesn’t see my qualifications doesn’t mean they’re not valuable.
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