When I graduated from college in 2021, I had to make some difficult decisions.
My plan to stay in the off-campus apartment I shared with a roommate quickly fell apart. When my student loans kicked in at over $600 a month, I couldn’t handle the payment and my rent on my part-time income.
I wanted to go to graduate school, but the thought of taking on another set of massive loans while unable to afford the ones I already owed closed that door for the foreseeable future.
At that point, I chose to move back home with my mom.
There were benefits to moving back home
I wasn’t thrilled with the idea of returning to my childhood home. It certainly wasn’t what I had pictured my postgrad life would be.
The transition back home took some time, but the familiarity of the town and my house made it much easier. Socially, however, I was one of the very few hometown friends to return.
The benefit of living at home was primarily financial. Even though my mother charged me rent, it was thankfully still less than living on my own. I also worked with her at the family businesses, coordinating projects and working directly with customers for her HVAC & construction companies.
While I was fortunate to have those opportunities, I struggled with the fact that my life was still intertwined with my mom’s at a time I thought I would otherwise be independent.
I felt stuck in place
My expectations for postgrad life were a far cry from my reality. If you had asked me on graduation day where I would be in three years, I would say I was working toward getting my license for private practice as a psychologist. Instead, I continued the cycle of going to work with my family and going home with my family, having little else to do with my days.
I started working as a bartender on nights and weekends, which helped my social life, but I wanted a change that felt so far off in the future.
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I feared I was falling behind my peers, with some already getting large promotions at work or starting families. As much as I tried to make the best of it all, the day came when I finally cracked and said, “I need to go. Now.”
Moving to a new city changed everything for me
After living at my mom’s for three years, that breaking point hit me hard. The last of my friends moved away, and I saw my social life collapse. I love my family and my hometown, but I felt so lonely — with no room to grow.
Using my small savings and a helping hand from my parents to put down a deposit on an apartment, I moved to Philadelphia. I came into the city fairly blind, having only visited twice, and it was the best gamble I ever took.
I’m fortunate to now work remotely with my family — but in a much more managerial role.
Living in a brand new setting turned out to be exactly what I needed. I was able to join clubs that didn’t exist back home and make friends quickly.
I’ve since gained a sense of control in my life and feel like I’ve started to move in the right direction. There are still high bills to pay and financial struggles, but a big move and a radical change were just what I needed to get a fresh lease on life.
