Moved to Spain in My 30s With No Plan; Thriving Here 10 Years Later

At 35, I left my comfortable life in Texas and bought a one-way ticket to Madrid to teach English.

On paper, everything in Austin looked fine: I had a job at a tech startup, a condo, and a steady routine. My days were predictable, comfortable, and deeply unfulfilling. I felt like I was sleepwalking through them.

I’d studied in Spain and had attempted to move there three times during my 20s. By my mid-30s, I assumed I had missed my opportunity.

Despite being single and childfree, walking away from everything without a plan felt like recklessly blowing up my life.

However, I always had a nagging feeling that there was more to my story. So, I pushed past the voice in my head that said I was “too old” to start over and packed my bags.

Ten years later, I’m still abroad. This move reshaped my life in ways I couldn’t have predicted. Breaking with society’s norms and taking a chance on myself led me to build the life of freedom I truly wanted.

Here are three things I’ve learned since leaving the US for my new life in Spain with me, myself, and I.

Age isn’t as limited as I’d been taught to believe — especially for women

In the US, we are repeatedly reminded of the typical “path of success”: Get married, have children, climb the corporate ladder, buy the house — and do all of this before you get too old.

In my early 30s in Austin, I had a built-in social circle where everyone my age was coupled (or wanted to be), and many had children. As a woman who wasn’t prioritizing marriage or motherhood, I felt strangely behind, despite not wanting the same things. I felt like an outlier.

That changed when I moved to Spain. Most women I met didn’t follow conventional timelines, and I no longer felt subtle judgment about my life choices. I met countless women my age and older, without kids, and many of them were unattached.

No one ever asked me why I wasn’t married. For the first time in my life, I felt like my life choices were normal.

I was also surprised by the number of women over 30 I met who had moved abroad. In Texas, I only knew of students and retirees making the leap, not people in the middle of their careers.

Most people my age were chasing stability, not a total life shake-up. Having no one who understood to turn to for support made me feel even more anxious about my decision.

However, I soon realized that moving in my 30s was actually an advantage. I had more financial stability, better self-awareness, and the wisdom to navigate challenges with perspective.

One of the biggest lessons from my past decade abroad is that there’s no expiration date on reinvention. My 30s and 40s have been full of new beginnings, from moving abroad at 35 to starting a new career at 37 to building a thriving business at 40.

Rather than conforming to a path, I created one that fit.

Changing where you live can radically change your life

When you move somewhere new, you gain something very powerful: the ability to choose who you want to be. Distance from past identities, histories, and assumptions about who you are can be very freeing.

And that’s the real gift of moving abroad, it’s not just a change of scenery, it’s a change of context. You can try, fail, pivot, and evolve without an audience.

Before I moved to Spain, my life in the US was characterized by serial job-hopping. I struggled to find my way in the corporate world, while everyone else seemed to move through it with ease.

I felt like something was wrong with me, and I constantly wondered why I couldn’t just conform. In the US, work feels like it equals your worth, so what did not thriving say about me?

At 35, I knew teaching abroad wasn’t my long-term plan, but I also didn’t move across the ocean to chase the conventional path of success. For the first time, I felt free of societal expectations, family pressures, and cultural norms. That anonymity coupled with downtime was the catalyst for self-discovery.

I started asking myself questions that never fit within the conventional definition of success: What do I really want? What excites me? What kind of life do I want to create?

Outside the 9-to-5 grind, I found creativity and clarity. In Madrid, I started blogging, organizing events, and exploring ideas without knowing where they would lead.

Within a year and a half, they led me to start She Hit Refresh, a community and company that helps women over 30 move abroad so they can stop stressing over logistics and build a life that feels aligned with who they are internally.

If I had stayed in Texas, I’m not sure that this version of me would have surfaced. I used to think that I needed to become someone different to thrive in the US.

It turns out I didn’t need to change who I was; I just needed to be in a place that allowed me to become myself.

Moving abroad isn’t a cure-all

It would be easy to frame a move abroad as a fairy tale, but it isn’t.

Navigating visa stress and bureaucracy (particularly in a foreign language) can feel impossible some days. Even easy tasks like grocery shopping or taking the bus can be hard at first and leave you with a stress headache.

I’ve suffered anxiety from navigating my first office job in Spanish, and it took me years longer than expected to build close friendships.

There were many times when I felt lonely, isolated, and financially uncertain. There were even moments when I doubted whether I had made the right decision. However, I’ve come to learn that all this is normal.

Life abroad will have its highs and lows, because life abroad is still life.

Overall, though, my day-to-day stress is significantly lower. I walk everywhere. Healthcare is affordable. Travel is accessible and affordable.

My social life is richer and full of friends whose stories are similar to mine. Most importantly, my life feels aligned with who I am.

Moving abroad did not magically solve any of my problems, but it did give me the psychological space to reimagine who I could become. By changing where I lived, I changed how I saw myself and what I believed I was capable of doing.

I took risks I wouldn’t have taken back home, and over time, those choices compounded.

What started as a one-year Hail Mary became a new career, a business, and a life that fits me far better than the one I left behind.