A Professional Gift Expert Says Most People Get Presents Wrong

A colleague of Alanna Silver in the HR department where they worked was stumped about what to get as a gift.

Silver asked about the person she was buying for and searched for clues about their preferences before suggesting the perfect present.

“My career in HR helped me figure out people’s personalities and how they like to be recognized,” Silver told Business Insider.

It turned out that her colleague’s gift was so appreciated that it led her to take on clients as a professional gift advisor with her new company, The Gift Strategist.

She said that many struggle to come up with ideas, especially for friends, family, and co-workers who seem to have everything.

Silver, who lives in Northern New Jersey and charges $150 for her services, spends time with the gift giver to discuss the recipient’s interests, likes, and dislikes.

She then sends up to 10 suggestions and talks them through with the client. “It’s very satisfying when I hear that the present hit the mark,” she said.

Here are three of Silver’s tips for achieving that result.

It’s the person who counts

Silver said it’s easy to take the easy route by choosing something that you would like, rather than taking the time and effort to consider the recipient.

She did this only once, buying her sister a Tiffany & Co. “Keys” necklace, partly because she loved the collection herself.

“I didn’t see the delight on her face when she opened the box,” Silver said. “She was grateful, but not as enthusiastic as me about the gift.”

Silver realized her sister would have preferred an experience like a special lunch together, followed by a visit to a museum, rather than a material thing.

She added that, even if you are not particularly enthusiastic about a concept yourself, it’s the person who counts.

For example, the adult children of a devout Catholic eschewed religion themselves. Still, after consulting Silver, they sought a papal blessing from the Vatican for her 80th birthday.

“She was delighted because of the obvious reflection that had gone into the gift,” Silver said.

Cost isn’t everything

Some people have the means to splurge, but Silver goes by the adage that it’s the thought that counts.

She believes you can often find the perfect item at a price point you can afford, without stretching yourself, if you do your research.

“I work from the top down, looking at the more expensive options first and, if need be, finding something similar that fits a lower budget,” she said.

Spending a lot of money can sometimes backfire because the recipient might worry that you’ve overextended. “It’s important to bear in mind that gift-giving isn’t supposed to be transactional,” Silver said.

She said that gift vouchers can’t help but give off that vibe. But there are ways to avoid them.

“If you’re gifting someone a meal at a restaurant, you could call ahead and discreetly pay by credit card so they don’t see the check,” Silver, who often does this on her clients’ behalf, said.

Help make memories

Arranging a treasured experience can often mean more than a tangible present.

People frequently tell Silver that the recipient is someone who “has everything,” so she suggests doing something memorable instead.

“It’s often the time you spend with them that means the most to the other person,” she said.

She has helped her clients arrange everything from tickets to a Broadway show or exhibition to a professional photo shoot at a park.

“It’s especially fun for occasions like Mother’s Day or Father’s Day to get candid pictures of grandparents playing with their grandchildren,” she said.

“I’ve never met anyone who hasn’t loved the gift of shared moments.”