I Redesigned My Toddler’s Room to Teach Him Independence

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Victoria Lee Jones. It has been edited for length and clarity.

As my son Connor was getting ready to turn 2, I knew I wanted to redesign his room to teach him independence. As a single mom who also runs a business, it has always been a priority for me that he learns to do things on his own, no matter his age.

As he started to outgrow his crib, I spent about six months considering how to design a room that would be functional, beautiful, and give him the independence I’d prioritized.

He’d been pretty sick as a baby, and we didn’t have much of a consistent routine. I hoped a room redo would help us establish a new normal. I considered how he’d access toys, his bed, and clothes, all on his own level.

He gets to make independent choices

Even though I keep most of his clothes in the closet, I’ve put a little wardrobe at his level in the room. Every couple of days, I change the clothes in the wardrobe so he can choose what to wear each day and get dressed himself.

Since everything is accessible to him, he is able to help me clean the room, teaching him from a young age that it is his responsibility to keep his space tidy.

He’s now got a whole routine that involves lots of choice, and independent play and sleep.

The room wasn’t just about functionality — I wanted it to feel masculine. I bring a lot of feminine energy into the house, and I wanted to give him a room with male energy, deep colors, vintage textures, and classic designs.

I worked with two brands, Spoonflower and Babyletto, on the bed and the wallpaper, and then personally designed everything else around those.

Everything was curated

Giving him a beautiful room was immensely important to me because I want to pass on to Connor the appreciation of beauty I have as a designer and contractor. Every single item was curated by me specifically for him. There are leather accent pillows, a vintage tennis racket, and Hamlet-looking books. There are different wood varieties, along with a beautiful accent rug and curtains that tie his room’s design to the rest of the house, linking him to me.

I’ve put a vintage Bluetooth radio in the room for him to use because I would love him to listen to and love music. There aren’t any TV screens in the room, and probably won’t ever be, because I just want this to be a calm space for him.

I want him to be inspired

When I thought about how I would decorate the room, I kept going back to the question: What and who would inspire Connor as he grows up?

I never remember being encouraged from a young age to go to college, but I want Connor to know that this is a possibility for him — an option. Above the head of his bed, I’ve hung Yale, Morehouse, and Harvard flags to remind him daily about what he can pursue as he ages.

Also on his walls are pictures in gold frames of inspirational Black men — musicians, politicians, and athletes. It was really important to me that he have daily visuals of Black men to look up to. These are the men he can become like.

He can pursue his dreams and do good in the world, as so many of them did.