This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Christine Wong-Tai. It has been edited for length and clarity.
I used to work for a healthcare company in New York City, and it seemed the organization never understood remote work.
Post-COVID, when we’d all obviously had to work remotely for two years, they said we needed to begin a gradual return to the office. At first, they didn’t push it; they just talked up the benefits of returning to the office, saying it was better for collaboration and productivity.
Honestly, at that time, I quite enjoyed the opportunity to get out of the house once a week and see my colleagues in person. It was a welcome break from being a mom of three.
This was before they mandated it, and they were still being flexible. But then my family moved house.
Returning to the office weekly made me stressed
We moved in 2022. By then, I had three young children and we needed a bigger house. We also wanted to be in an area where there were good schools. We moved from New York City to the Hudson Valley.
When we moved, and my commute time doubled to an hour and 45 minutes, I felt differently. At first, it was manageable because they weren’t demanding our return to the office. It was around once a month; I could work that out with my husband.
Then the organization bumped up the requirement to four times a month. That’s when the strain and stress started. They started to track compliance by keeping tabs on whether you met your four times per month.
It was a logistical nightmare
Logistically, it became very hard to manage, and my stress skyrocketed. My husband was working night shifts at the time, which complicated things further.
We had to hire additional childcare help. It wasn’t an attractive proposition for caretakers, as it was just waiting around for an hour or two for my kids’ buses. It was also difficult to hire them.
Life became a logistical nightmare, navigating different people, priorities, and schedules. I didn’t see my kids before I left in the mornings as they were still asleep, and when I came home, I was just too tired to focus on anything, including them.
Obviously, many parents navigate these things but I found it so difficult keeping everything balanced. I had to make a change and quit.
I left that job and now happily work from home
I’ve since found an organization that matches my needs to work flexibly and remotely. I’m currently 99% remote in my new job in IT leadership for a healthcare firm.
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My stress is down; my productivity is through the roof. As a leader in my new position, I don’t force my team members to go into the office. We do still occasionally get together in person for special events.
I’ve noticed people are happier and more productive in my new workplace because they can work remotely.
For me, I get four hours back in my day. I also get $600 a month back in my bank account: the money I save on gas, train tickets and childcare. That’s huge. No wonder I’m happier.
