A recent piece in The New York Times has been making the rounds among my friends. It outlines the struggles Gen Xers working in the creative fields face in the job market and how in the last few years, they’ve found that their skills are less valuable.
“I’m 53,” writes one commenter on Reddit, “and I already pivoted from one career to the next, and now that’s looking dicey. I have a little kid. I’m soiling my pants.”
I can relate. It’s been just over two years since I opened my email and read that I’d been let go from my 20-plus-year career as a multimedia and press relations expert in the humanitarian field.
I still haven’t found new full-time work.
I watched my dad go through this as a kid
I remember when my dad lost his job in the 1980s. He went from owning his own business to moving us out of our fashionable North London neighborhood to a semi-detached in a much different part of town.
My parents gently shifted our lives in a new direction, and they did a pretty good job. We each had to adjust to our new situation. My dad, with bills to pay, had to adjust most of all.
As he looked for another profession, I wondered if he felt his confidence under attack with each failed interview. Did he look in the mirror and wonder who he was?
Whether he did or not, I know I feel the impact
Losing a job can significantly change your identity, especially if your job informs your sense of self, status, and purpose. Grief and anxiety can aggravate a potential identity crisis.
My loss of income heralded substantial challenges for my family, from struggling to find the tuition for my son’s special needs school to the inevitable toll on my marriage. Not a day went by where I didn’t question my self-worth or didn’t feel like a weight dragging my family down.
I spiraled into heavy substance abuse, and on my worst days, I even considered ending it all, my lack of nerve the only thing keeping me sane.
I loved the work I had been doing
My profession certainly informed who I was. In my mid-30s, I was a digital content creator and comms expert at a small NGO advising marginalized groups and democratic governments. I worked with Saharawi refugees, Syrian Opposition members, and other populations fighting against regimes and oppressive governments that restricted their freedoms.
By 2019, the waves from Trump’s first term were hitting smaller NGOs pretty hard. I jumped to an international humanitarian organization.
When I lost that job in 2023, it took me more than a minute to realize what had happened.
I found interviewing difficult and settled on gig work
At first, I interviewed for positions similar to the work I’d done. My imposter syndrome kicked in, and while I attempted to shift gears to something like PR or media, this time, it felt like the entire ground beneath me was shifting. I picked up a few comms gigs, but the money wasn’t reliable.
Eventually, I found work designing book covers and then doing project management for a small boutique publishing company in LA.
In my previous career, I made six figures. Now, I’m making $25 an hour, plus any commissions I can secure. The financial hit meant we had to seriously scale back our expenses while trying not to let our fiscal situation affect our two small children.
There’s nothing like trying to smile, joke, and answer the demands of a chatty 5-year-old while the bills are mounting and you’re just trying to keep your head together.
Related stories
Business Insider tells the innovative stories you want to know
Business Insider tells the innovative stories you want to know
I know I’m not the only one in this situation
There are a lot of Americans in the same boat. The pressure at times of trying to stay afloat while protecting your kids from the realities you and your partner are facing is pretty heavy, and I’m lucky that I have my wife. This isn’t her first rodeo.
She’s been a freelancer, chasing checks and making those dollars stretch for over 20 years. When adversity strikes she relishes the bite.
My wife has taken on more teaching jobs, pitched more articles, and applied for grants, and I know it has taken a toll on her mental health, and, ultimately, her feelings toward her partner. For me, shifting from a full-time salary to gig work has taken me a minute to find myself.
I’m working on rewriting my identity
As I stood up at the end of a session recently, my therapist said to me, “You don’t know your core personality. Other people are different. They know in their core who they are. ‘I know I am a good father!’ they say to themselves. You don’t know in your core that you are a good father.”
The conclusion made me sway as the words slowly sunk in. “I don’t know what’s at my core!” And it’s no wonder. In the West, the first question we ask when we meet someone new is “What do you do?”
For today, I have no answer.
I remain optimistic
I’m still hopeful I can find work similar to my past career. Friends still send job descriptions, and I still browse job boards, but I’m also cognizant that my field has changed considerably. I’m realizing it’s time to shapeshift for my next chapter, whatever that may be.
For the last two years, every time I’ve looked in the mirror, the face staring back at me has been one of disappointment. I’m trying to change that and give that guy in the mirror a break.
I think back to my father and have a new appreciation not for what he did for work but for how he showed up for his family in those times of tensity.
Do you have a story to share about job loss? Contact this editor at [email protected].
