American Dad Raising Kids in Korea; Questions If US Education Is Better

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Derek Laan, 39, a senior program manager at Interlink, a global business development consultancy. His words have been edited for length and clarity.

When I was a little kid, my favorite book was “The Lorax.” It’s about someone chopping down all the trees.

I grew up in Minnesota, and when I was 12, there was a big forest by my house where I’d go hiking and mountain biking. One day, they tore down half of it to build houses. I remember thinking: Why don’t we all just live in apartments and share the forest?

When I was 19, I was working at a YMCA summer camp after my freshman year of college. I was assigned to a group of Korean kids, and we went on a canoe trip where we camped and cooked over a fire. The group leader invited me to come to Korea to guide trips there.

I spent the next summer in Korea. I remember flying over the country and seeing mountains and forests everywhere, but also all these apartment buildings. I thought, “I’m going to love it here.”

Language learning unlocks opportunity

Two years later, after I’d graduated from college, I moved to Korea to teach English. I like kids, but I didn’t think that would be my career. My goal was to learn Korean and do something cool. So I started studying Korean pretty hard. Turns out I’m super good at learning languages.

Once I got more fluent, I thought I could use my language skills to help Korean companies work with international partners.

I’ve always been interested in business. Both of my parents have MBAs.

In 2013, I started as an intern at Doosan Group in Seoul and worked my way up to be a business development manager. After three years, I got an offer from the ski and sportswear brand Descente, where I worked for three years as a business strategist.

I met my wife in 2018, and we got married in Korea the next year. We had our first son in 2021.

I went on to work at a few other companies before I landed a job at Intralink.

Day in the life

I wake up at 6:30 a.m., feed my kids breakfast, and take them to daycare. I run to the subway and go to my office in Gwanghwamun Square. The commute takes me about an hour.

A lot of my job is meetings — figuring out where there might be opportunities. One or two days a week, I travel to other parts of Korea to meet up with Korean companies and present the technologies my clients are working on.

When I start a new project, I’ll cold-call people or follow up with those I met through exhibitions and shows. I’ll tell them, “Hey, remember me, I had this great technology. I want to come and meet you in person and tell you more about it.”

If I can get home by 6:30 p.m., I’ll play with my kids at the playground or read some books. I try to let my wife have a break, because having two boys is really stressful.

What I gave up

My life in Korea is exciting. I’m on TV every few months. I’m a sponsored biker. I give lectures at universities on the side. That wouldn’t happen in the US — I would just be some dude.

If I had stayed in the US, my career probably would have progressed faster, and I’d be making more money. In Korea, promotions can take longer — sometimes you’re waiting for someone above you to retire.

Salaries are generally lower, too.

In Korea, I make a little less money, in exchange for a more interesting life.

I was set on staying here forever until last year, when I began considering my kids’ education. I thought, “Ah, crap. It’s not going to be that good to live here with them. It’s going to be hard.”

Plans to move back

I started thinking more seriously about what it would be like to raise my sons — now 2 and 5 — here long term.

My parents and my sister live in Boulder. My wife and I are thinking about moving there for their school.

I’ve done the calculation. For us to move to Colorado, I’ll need to make about four times as much to maintain the same lifestyle I have here.

My kids are in free daycare here. Plus, we have a babysitter from a government program that helps us after daycare for about $10 per hour.

Our plan is to live here until my first son goes to first grade. If we send him to elementary school in the US, it will be free — we won’t have to pay for daycare for both kids.

My Korean wife is an elementary school teacher, and she put it to me this way: “Ask any Korean, if you had the money and you had the visa, would you go to the US for your kids? 99% would say yes.”

I was really into cycling back when I was in school, basically professionally. And that doesn’t happen in Korea. Here, you just study. Or if you do sports, you have to stop studying. Their culture is that you need to focus so hard that even thinking you should think about something else is bad.

If I move back, I can work for the same business, finding clients in the US who want to go to Asia. Or maybe working for a Korean company that wants to go into the US.

But Korea’s awesome. It stinks to go back.

Do you have a story to share about living abroad? Contact the editor at [email protected].