This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Joe Lamy, a 77-year-old in Seattle who started groups at his local senior center to combat loneliness and now helps more groups develop across the country. It’s been edited for length and clarity.
During our first small group meet-up at my local senior center, I remember asking everyone if they felt like they had anyone to talk to. When only half of the attendees raised their hands, it just broke my heart. I knew we needed to do more to foster social interactions.
I was inspired to start organizing meetups at my local senior center in Seattle in 2023 after Vivek Murthy, the former Surgeon General, declared loneliness an epidemic.
However, the group meant even more to me than that. As a retired teacher, I no longer saw people at work every day, and the social interactions I had grown to value were no longer guaranteed.
My small group inspired me to help people across the country start small groups in their own communities through AARP’s “Create the Good” forum.
I’ve found that people want to find ways to get together. All it takes is a few people willing to talk to each other.
Do you have a story to share about combating loneliness? Contact this reporter at [email protected].
I found a sense of belonging at my senior center meet-ups
Our conversations initially followed a structured format, using online question prompts, but they gradually evolved into free-flowing discussions where we would discuss whatever was on our minds. I tried to steer clear of political topics that could alienate people and instead focused on the ultimate goal — inclusivity.
Starting the group helped me feel more connected to my community. I created so many new friendships and activities that I barely have any time to worry about aging.
The senior center has opened up to younger people seeking connection
I’ve since stopped serving as a facilitator at my local Seattle senior center, but it has expanded significantly in the past year. It now offers more classes, special lectures, and presentations — and it has even rebranded from a senior center to a “Center for Active Living,” expanding its focus to the 50+ community. I’ve noticed an increase in people in their 50s coming in, along with more activities, such as line dancing and fitness classes.
It’s not just older adults who desire connection. While younger generations might still have family ties and social interactions through their careers, they’re hungrier than ever for long-term connections.
It’s so rewarding to see new groups popping up everywhere
I’m now focusing on larger community efforts and building other small groups, and it fills me with joy knowing that people are enjoying their connections and are richer for the new bonds they’ve formed.
I’ve seen some groups go to restaurants on a weekly basis, and others that meet at a local library or church. Some groups even gather around a few picnic tables at a public park and just chat.
The more they get to talk with each other, the more trust they can build, and the more they become vulnerable and open to sharing situations about themselves.
Pickleball and singing have become my own sources of community
While helping to build these communities, I’ve also begun to focus more on pursuing my own passions. I’ve taken up pickleball, which has been great for my health and helped me build new friendships. We respect each other on the court, and we can talk about what we’ve been up to off the court. The laughter and conversations have nourished me in ways hard to put into words.
I’ve also joined a singing group for older adults and pay a small fee to participate in Seattle Town Hall’s various events, which include intellectually stimulating lectures and discussions.
Our social health depends on the connections we can incorporate into our lives, and for me, these social interactions have been a lifesaver. I’m grateful for the chance to empower so many others to find the connections that bring them a sense of belonging.
