This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Leslie Cohen, a 52-year-old real estate development and operations professional in the Boston area. Business Insider has verified her identity and background. This story has been edited for length and clarity.
I started my career as a project manager in the commercial real estate industry and rose through the ranks to chief operating officer. This summer, however, I decided to put my career on pause to spend time with my kids. One is going to be a junior in college this fall, and the other one is heading off to college.
I’m planning to announce my next chapter soon, and it’s something that will allow me some flexibility, but for now, I’m enjoying the break, as I’ve never had any time off like this. When I had my first son, I had the option to take three months of paid leave, and I chose to spread it over six months because the company I worked for was in the midst of a big transaction. I didn’t want to be left behind, and the company was also willing to be flexible. I took the first three weeks off, then started going in two days a week, then three, and so on.
My kids were born only 14 months apart, so I was out again pretty quickly. I had planned to take the same type of leave, spreading it out over six months, but then my boss told me the company was short-staffed and asked if I would consider returning early.
I agreed to come back just 10 days after giving birth, as long as I could work only four days a week and the firm would pay for a night nanny. My second son had a lot of colic, and I wasn’t going to be able to come back if I couldn’t sleep. My husband, who’s now retired, was working as a dentist and teaching. He didn’t take paternity leave. I don’t think it was even available back then.
Anyone can hold a baby
Courtesy of the Cohen family.
When I was younger, I remember asking a colleague, who was a mother of teenagers, why she was working part-time. She said that anyone can hold a baby, but not everyone can solve the complex problems of teenagers, and that stuck with me.
My sons are now 21 and almost 20, and I feel like they need me more than ever, because going to college is one of life’s biggest transitions. There’s a lot of figuring things out, and my kids want to talk about it. They want somebody to listen, and sometimes they want advice. And I want to be there for them without having to say, “Sorry, I’m in a meeting and can’t talk.”
Recently, my younger son and I had back-to-back eye doctor appointments, and there was a café nearby, so afterward we met there and stayed for an hour and a half. He talked about how he felt about going to college.
I left that café feeling really happy knowing that I made the right decision. It was 10:30 in the morning on a Wednesday, a time I would never have to spend with my son if I weren’t taking this career break. It was just nice that I could do it. I didn’t have pressure to be anywhere.
So much has evolved over the past 20 years. Paid leave is now an option for both moms and dads in many cases. This helps remove the stigma and challenges for working moms. I’ve implemented more progressive paid leave programs where I’ve worked, and I’m proud of that.
