I watched my 7-year-old son observing his younger sister taking her first dance class. She skipped across the floor, jumping over a taped marking. His eyes were glued to each move. “Mom, can I take this class?” he asked. We’d spent the last week discussing swimming lessons, but dance could fill its place, so he joined.
In the following months, I observed that ballet gave my son problem-solving skills in the form of choreography. At 14, he played Pinocchio. By the end of the performance, I’d felt his character’s entire journey. This was when I knew ballet was more than an activity. He wanted to become a professional.
Which then led me to question — could we afford it?
I homeschool our kids
My husband and I spoke to his teachers, looked at dance blogs, and learned as much about the ballet world as possible. He could try many options, such as summer intensives, competitions, attending an academy associated with a company, or applying to a college with a dance major. Most of these options meant sending away a kid much younger than 18 years old — something that scared me.
Courtesy of the author
When my son received a scholarship to a dance academy at 17, I struggled to imagine how we could afford living expenses. I began to wonder if I could work part-time and still be a homeschool mom of 10. It was a plus that my husband worked from home, and that I’d spent years creating a morning school schedule for the kids. Some of them already helped me cook dinner on nights I had to drive other kids to activities. I’d miss being home full-time, but thankfully, my husband could help.
I applied for a job
My previous employment included a few hours at a college campus day care, working as an assistant for a small-business owner, and clerical duties in an X-ray department at our local hospital. A company that takes pride in matching employees with employers thought my best lead would be to look at the three colleges in town and see if they had any openings.
“There’s a job at my alma mater,” my husband said a few days after I’d mentioned that going back to work could be a way to pay for our son’s living expenses at the ballet academy. The post was for an Assistant to the Office of Belonging. Writing a cover letter for this was feasible. I was empathetic toward students of color as a Bangladeshi British American adoptee. One of the college classes I took introduced me to bell hooks, Patricia Williams, and W.E.B. DuBois. When it came to office work, I knew how to use Microsoft Office, and picking up new skills wouldn’t be too difficult.
My husband went on to say, “I bet my professor would write you a recommendation.” We’d stayed in touch with him and his wife. Only, I found out that this job would be working for him. I hoped my application was good enough.
I went to two interviews. Within a few weeks, our friend said, “I’d like to hire you.”
I took a breath and accepted.
Being a mom helped me at work
The first day, I put my 2-year-old son down for a nap, organized dinner with the older kids, and walked into my office. I jumped into planning events, meeting with student groups, and creating a newsletter. I noticed patterns of tasks that reminded me of the early days as a new mother.
When I didn’t know what to do with a baby, I’d created a schedule for my sanity. I hoped it would help him, too. At work, I studied the calendar of events. Blank days filled up quickly. When my boss assigned me more projects, I was already accustomed to figuring out how to integrate a new agenda item into my day. When homeschooling my older kids, my attention was divided between them and the ones who were much younger.
One area where I surprised myself the most was feeling confident in meeting a lot of new people to form collaborations. In my previous jobs, I’d been timid when it came to talking to clients at the hospital or the parents of the kids I watched at day care. My boss instructed me to smile at clients. As a parent, I pushed myself to talk to other new moms at the library and in the park to form a community. In the workplace, I utilized these skills to identify opportunities for interdepartmental collaboration and establish myself as a valuable resource for others.
Eighteen years ago, I would have felt lost in my current job. Working on a university campus has become a source of inspiration. Although I’m not a student, I find myself setting new life goals. I never expected my son’s desired career to also uncover my unknown dreams.
