This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Karen Silberman, founder of The Phone Valet. It has been edited for length and clarity.
When my son was in 6th grade, he started attending lots of bar and bat mitzvahs. This is such a milestone in our community — really beautiful celebrations. And yet, what I saw at these parties bothered me.
Kids would walk in with the phone glued to their hands, and it would stay there all night. Whenever there was a pause or lull, they’d default to their phones. They were missing out on opportunities to laugh or dance, and weren’t developing important social skills.
Parents were devastated after the parties. They’d put so much time and effort into these events, with extraordinary entertainment, only to have kids distracted by their devices.
I realized this is a service I would pay for
As my son’s bar mitzvah approached, I was really dreading what was to come. At first, I thought there was nothing I could do about the devices, but when the event happened, and his friends arrived, I intercepted them, saying, “Hey, guys, I’m going to need your phone.”
Courtesy of Karen Silberman
I could never ask my son to hand over his phone — that would cause a scene. But because I was a third party, his friends listened to me and handed their devices over easily. I thought, “I would pay to have someone do this.”
That’s where the idea for the Phone Valet was born. Over the next year, I developed the business idea.
We provide a contact number and cameras
I wanted The Phone Valet to feel like an elegant option. I didn’t want it to be a punishment for guests not to have their phones; rather, I wanted it to feel like an upgrade.
I knew I needed to address the reasons people want their phones at events. When it comes to teens, parents want to reach their kids. I worked around that by providing an emergency number where parents can contact their kids through The Phone Valet, if needed. Another common concern is cameras. I offer clients the option to have us hand out digital or disposable cameras when people check their phone into the valet.
Courtesy of Karen Silberman
When someone books, I provide the language to share with their guests, explaining The Phone Valet. We encourage people to remind guests in the days leading up to the event, and set the expectation for a phone-free event. Of course, anyone can access their phone at any time during an event by coming over to the valet station.
A silly game demonstrated how meaningful this work is
We’ve done events in Southern Florida (near my home in Miami) and in New York, and we’re expanding to other markets this year. In addition to bar and bat mitzvahs, we’ve appeared at school events, weddings, and even celebrity parties.
What’s been most amazing is that teens are secretly asking their parents to hire The Phone Valet for events. They see how much more engaged their peers are without the distraction of their phones. They don’t want to be the ones to tell their friends to put the phone away, but they also don’t want them coming to an event glued to their screens.
One of the most vivid moments of success I’ve had was incredibly simple: I was working at a quinceañera, and two boys were just playing catch with a water bottle, laughing the whole time. That moment wouldn’t have happened if they’d had their phones.
It might seem like nothing — you’d hardly even notice it — but those are the moments that make all the difference. As I’ve always told my son, there’s a time and place for the phone, but when you’re with people, you should be focused on them.
