This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Lemuel Bray, 85, who moved to the Philippines to better afford long-term care. He said his cost of living is lower, and the care he is receiving exceeds what he received in the US. This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
I grew up with nine siblings. My father had children from a second wife after my mom died of cervical cancer. I’m a disabled veteran and get disability compensation. I was a hospital foreman in the Navy for over 13 years, two of which were in Vietnam.
I suffered a traumatic brain injury, which affected my ability to work. I was married for nearly 52 years. My wife and I lived in poverty for a good deal of that time. I lived in Japan for some of that time, with her parents while they were still alive, helping them through their last years. My last full-time job was in 1985. I was granted back pay in April 2020, though I wasted it on poor real estate investments.
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We moved back to the US after an economic downturn. We didn’t have children. We knew it would’ve been cheaper for us to live in the Philippines at the time, which was one of my wife’s favorite places, but we didn’t really mention it.
She died suddenly and unexpectedly in December 2023, and I reacted very angrily to her death. She never got to see a neurologist, and we were disappointed by the quality of care we received over our lives. We were living in Wyoming at that time.
It would’ve been too expensive to live in the US on my own.
I was authorized for seven hours of home health aide time a week, but I needed somebody to come in more frequently, especially given my falls. I didn’t really want to ask my siblings to step in and be my caregiver, as they had been through that already with other loved ones.
The VA long-term care facilities I was looking at would have required me to move away from family, with no pets. I cannot use a cellphone without a keyboard because of my disabilities.
I considered selling my three-bedroom home and moving to assisted living. Where I was, the proceeds from selling my home would have provided 36 months of assisted living with nurse medication supervision.
I spotted an advertisement for a retirement visa in the Philippines.
I knew I could afford the care I needed in the Philippines. I started making some contacts and met a woman online. I decided that this would be the right move for me.
My late wife’s cousin lives in Australia, and they took a trip to visit me and see my wife’s gravesite. They helped me get to the Denver airport, board the plane, and arrive in the Philippines. I traveled very lightly. I had a walker and one bag that I could put my essentials in. When I first landed in October 2024, it was hard on my health, but it got better once I got used to the lower altitude compared to Wyoming.
We married a month after I moved. My wife is much younger than I am, and she has five children. Two of them live with us in our condominium. She agreed to provide the care I need.
One month into living in the Philippines, a typhoon drove us to a city further north. We lived there until we bought a house about six hours outside Manila in June 2025. The cost for the property was under $50,000, including additions such as a rooftop patio.
I use crutches for stability.
I was on oxygen at first. I try to always be within reach of something to support me. I’ve fractured a kneecap on a fall once, so I’ve tried to avoid that. I realized, since moving here, that I have pericarditis, or heart muscle inflammation.
Lemuel Bray
My long-term care is covered by my VA Disability Compensation, which also includes education benefits for dependents and compensation for my wife after I die. There’s a VA clinic in Manila for lab follow-ups and service-connected prescriptions. Here, I could hire help on my own dime. I hired an assistant caregiver for 7,000 pesos a month, which is about $111. If I wanted to switch to a nursing home, it wouldn’t be difficult at all. There’s a large military contingent in the city of Angeles, and there have been advertisements for cheaper nursing homes.
My stepdaughter is going to nursing school, and they’re learning to read, write, and speak English in school. All of the doctors and nurses here speak English.
Our two-bedroom condo costs about $500 a month, plus utilities.
It has an exercise area, weight rooms, a swimming pool, and study rooms. Because I’m 100% disabled, my stepchildren can go to college and be paid a stipend while having their books and tuition covered.
Food is much cheaper here. I get around by taxi and Uber, and there are also jeepneys that cost about 25 cents. I live on Mindoro Island, which is south of Manila.
The people here are much friendlier. In the States, I fell down on the street, and people would walk by me and think I was drunk. Here, I know I wouldn’t have had any problems. There is a great deal of respect for elders. When my stepchildren come, they usually take my hand and touch it to their forehead as a matter of respect.
I definitely miss my family. I never had that much contact with my half-siblings after my dad remarried, but I miss my younger brother and my youngest full sister, who is dealing with breast cancer.
I know that I will die and be buried here.
