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Home » Wall Street Cheers Citrini Analyst’s Wild Strait of Hormuz Report
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Wall Street Cheers Citrini Analyst’s Wild Strait of Hormuz Report

EditorBy EditorApril 7, 2026No Comments3 Mins Read
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Finance types can’t stop talking about Citrini Research’s “Analyst #3” and what the firm says was a wild trip to the Strait of Hormuz.

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Wall Street’s denizens and market watchers across the globe rushed to X to commend the intrepid analyst with memes, GIFs, and kudos-filled posts.

It’s insane not only how wild the story is, but how well it’s written.If Citrini’s team ever stopped writing investment memos, they could create novels that would put Tom Clancy or Jack Reacher to shame.One of the few research newsletters I subscribe to, and worth every… https://t.co/ovIdOW1p01

— Adam Cochran (adamscochran.eth) (@adamscochran) April 5, 2026

Citrini’s field report said that its analyst, who it says is fluent in four languages, traveled to the shipping channel at the heart of the US-Iran conflict with “a Pelican case full of equipment, a pack of Cuban cigars, $15,000 in cash and a roll of Zyn.”

I feel like I fell in love with @citrini Analyst #3 without even knowing him. 😂“Armed with a fluency in four languages including Arabic, a Pelican case full of equipment, a pack of Cuban cigars, $15,000 in cash and a roll of Zyn”…. who is this man? 😍 pic.twitter.com/dK8rYNlDBE

— Liz Bazurto🛡|| lalatina.eth (@lizabazurto) April 6, 2026

Analyst #3 wrote that he snuck recording equipment into Oman, faced questioning from border officials, intelligence agents, and the coast guard, and swam in the Strait of Hormuz with a cigar in his mouth and Iranian drones flying overhead.

He reported that there were significantly more vessels passing through the strait than tracking platforms show, and said the situation was closer to a “toll road” than a “blockade,” with Iran demanding that every vessel secure its approval to pass through safely.

Citrini Research rose to prominence for betting against Silicon Valley Bank before the lender collapsed in early 2023 and helped trigger a regional-banking crisis. It also rattled markets this February when it warned AI could crash the stock market and spark a recession.

Roughly 20% of global oil and gas flows travel through the Strait of Hormuz, making it a key shipping channel for world energy markets and a major contributor to economic growth.

But traffic has plummeted since the breakout of the war between Iran and the US and Israel, as captains fear being struck by an Iranian drone, blasted by an underwater mine, or hit by a missile launched from the coast or a passing speedboat.

The disruptions have lit a fire under energy prices, stoking renewed fears of inflation and recession. Analyst #3’s audacious decision to visit the contested waterway in the middle of a full-blown war has clearly impressed finance professionals, who’ve compared him to James Bond, Mission: Impossible’s Ethan Hunt, and even the bumbling Johnny English.

Michael Burry, the investor of “The Big Short” fame, hailed Citrini’s on-the-ground coverage on his Substack, describing it as “remarkable stuff.”



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